Blessings

I thought that as I got closer to God somehow my broken heart would be completly mended. Well that's not exactly how it turns out. Yes, the scars created not only by others, but myself as well, from years and years ago turned into forgiveness, and extra prayers for my enemies.
Regret that ate at me from the inside out turned into life lessons that I learn and teach from. Hearts that I mangled on purpose, just because I hated happy, are being repaired all the time with a simple "I'm Sorry." The worry that was weighing me down, heavier, and heavier everyday, seemed to turn into just a few seconds of thought, every now and again. And faith, I have way more than a tiny little mustard seed, I have bushel baskets baby!!! Thank God for His gifts to us.
See, I have traveled a winding road, most of my life. Always looking for home, always looking for me, and getting myself into situations I would have never imagined being in. Forever feeling so alone, so abandoned, blah blah blah....
And no matter how "out of my mind " I would get, I always knew God was there, ashamed most of the time, I would still turn to the sky in the middle of the night and way into the heavens I would start shouting. "Why do You care? Why do you keep protecting me? You took me away from the family I was born to, took away my children from me, If I can't be a daughter or a mother, and I constanty spit on all your creation, what could possibly be the reason You persist on keeping me here?
Seems to turn out I love it down here!!! And heartache, yea I still get them but they are my heart hurting for others. That kind, feels right. All my trust, all my hope and all my faith are in my God above. He never left my side no matter how much I begged, and I'm so thankful for that. I would have missed out on camping trips, canoeing down beautiful rivers, being part of a beautiful church group, I could never leave Lifepoint... I would have missed out on being able to spread the love God gave to me to so many others who need it just as much as I do.
Just remember to smile at everyone you pass, hold a door open for someone, just say hello to someone whom you've never spoken to , you don't know what kind of day someone has been having and you might be the one God wants to make them feel better. Be thankful even if it is tuff, and GIVE IT TO GOD, He asked for it, and He can handle it.
Yep, I'm very happy!!!! And it just keeps getting better